Always Your Girl

(Written yeaterday 16.06.13)

Today marks 20 years. 20 years it is.

I was 8, a little girl; I am 28, an adult.

You were 39, a middle age adult; you still are 39, a middle age adult.

Time flies, things changed, but you still the same.

Every year, this day, I become complicated,

I turn empty.

It’s a day with sorrow,

a day of grey.

It used to be so much harder,

but it seems to be slightly easier year by year.

and It is much easier this time..

I think its because Kareshi is by my side...

But this doesn't mean you no longer stand a place,

because you always will.

It’s just that I've learn to handle,

and I am no longer alone.

The world keeps turning, time keeps flying,

and people don’t stop moving forward.

So am I, in order to lived up as your daughter,

I will try. To Be Strong.

Like what I said in my previous father's day post <A father's day without a father>,

I used to believe that the current living me, it’s just “me” inside my dream.

The “real” me is still sleeping and that when I open my eyes,

I will still see you smiling at me and ruffling my hair.

I am just having a nightmare.

Only when years gone by,

I slowly realize that the “me” I thought its inside my dream is real,

and the “real” me wasn't that real but an imagination,

a dream inside a dream.

An Inception.
And it's time to wake up.

I had never visited you on this day

because somewhere deep down inside my heart,

I never want to admit that you are no longer here.

But today,

I decided to take a step forward to mark today as a special day for the 20 years that had gone by.

That is why; I am here in front of you.

Daddy, Happy father’s day. I said.

Tears flows.

After all, I am just your little girl..

I love you daddy..

and I miss you badly..

Time flies, things changed, but we are still the same.

♥~Live to Dream ♥ Dream to Live~♥

Your Girl, Audrey.